October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Domestic violence is best understood as a pattern of abusive behaviors -- including physical, sexual, and psychological attacks as well as economic coercion -- used by one intimate partner against another (adult or adolescent) to gain, maintain, or regain power and control in the relationship. Batterers use of a range of tactics to frighten, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, often injure, and sometimes kill a current or former intimate partner.

What can I do to get help for myself?
Through the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE [7233] or TTY 1-800-787-3224), help is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hotline advocates are available for victims and anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Assistance is available in English and Spanish with access to more than 170 languages through interpreter services. If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

Domestic
Violence Is...

A pattern of abusive
behaviors used to
control a partner,
former partner,
or family member.
Abuse may be:

1. Verbal

2. Emotional

3. Economic

4. Sexual

5. Physical

"I think someone I know is being abused, but I'm not sure..."

It’s not always easy to tell if someone is being abused, but there are signs that may suggest abuse. Trust your instincts and watch for any of the following signs:

Signs of Abuse — Not an All-Inclusive List:

• Various injuries attributed to a “fall” or “accident”
• Clothing that doesn’t match the season (long sleeves in the summer); wearing heavy
  make-up or accessories that seem unusual
• References to her partner’s bad moods or temper
• Breaking appointments at the last minute or simply not showing up
• Being late or absent from work or quitting her job unexpectedly
• Speaking of her partner as if he’s significantly more important than she is

Partner’s Behavior Often Offers Clues:

• Public criticism or belittling “jokes”
• Being overly jealous, “attentive,” or demanding
• Not delivering messages that you leave with him
• Trying to control her every move or making her account for her time
• Accusing her of having an affair
• Threatening suicide or murder — or attempting it
• Abusing the children emotionally, physically, or sexually
• Isolation — Keeping your friend away from her friends and family

How to Start a Conversation With a Victim

1. Tell her that you are worried.

2. Listen without judgment.

3. Believe her.

4. Tell her that she deserves to be treated better.

5. Refer her to the Kansas Crisis Hotline --
(888) END-ABUSE -- and your local
domestic violence program.

6. Ask her how you can help. Remember that safety is her
priority and she knows what is best to keep herself and
her children safe.